Now what?

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Now what?

Breathe, just breathe.  Sleep in.  Needlepoint. Spin that wool. Knit really good yarn.

Read what you want to read.  Write the way you like to write, as if you are not being graded, write without the filters.

I used to be brave with my writing and somewhere along the way I bent. I didn’t break, but I certainly stopped writing in the way I like to.  I conformed to expectations and writing became a chore and a bore.  I was clear, most of the time, but lacked transparency. I lacked the flow of writing as a means to connect with myself.

The topics were ok.  But I lost the feeling that what I wrote mattered.

Here in the blog, I write for me. I find that I can hear my voice and thus know more about me when I write. It is different then writing in Word or some other doc that sits in a file.  I write and hit send and just like that I can’t take it back. Well, not true, I can delete.  But the folks that subscribe to the blog get the raw, first version.   I write, I re-read once, try the spell check thing and poof… off it goes into space.  A giant exhale and along with it, sometimes my fears and anxieties.  It is like sneezing in the movies, you can’t take it back or hide.  I let go.

And it really doesn’t matter if anyone reads my musing. That is not the point.  I am doing this for me and the format works.  If someone happens to read and relate, or even respond, then that is just like maple syrup in my tea.

What next?

Transition.    And a whole lot of musing.

Feels good.

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